Pain of Bullying

I am not surprised one bit that Bullying has become the topic of major discussion lately. Without going into the specific details of individuals faced with bullying and their sad outcomes, I feel compelled to speak about this.

As most of you know, I am no longer in Rotary and if there was another avenue of service I could dedicate my energy towards it would be Bullying amongst kids.  Bullying is something I faced in school on a lighter note and remember distinctly how it made me feel.

I remember telling adults or talking with other students about what I too was feeling at the time. I faced adult criticism telling me to "grow a backbone" or "get thicker skin". Luckily, I had enough support at home and kept my self busy in activities that helped build my confidence regardless of how much kids tried to knock me down. What I think many people fail to realize, adults mostly, is that everyone's mind works differently. Some kids who face Bullying on a daily basis may also have a unstable home life, history of drug abuse, or just low self esteem. When another student knocks them down, the blows are twice as bad. Without outside support, the Bullying becomes unbearable.

To ease the pain of Bullying we cannot just address the individual doing the Bullying. We cannot just try to pry the truth and information from the victim. We also have to work on giving and maintaining support to the victim in a fashion that will last to adult hood. Giving the victims of Bullying an ability to recognize their self worth. Giving them something to be proud of, making them realize their self worth in the world. Without this ability they will be unable to deal with issues of Bullying in the future. They will not be able to sort through the words and actions that the Bully's impose on them and will continue to feel helpless and worthless. Instead of saying " I am an awesome athlete and great caregiver to my family." They may say, the Bully is right " I am not good at anything and worthless to the world." But first we must help convince every child that they are worth it, they are special and point out their achievements. They must first learn to convince themselves they are special, then their mind can fight the Bully off.

Don't get me wrong, by the word "fight" I only mean, beat the Bully in their mind. Learn for themselves how to shrug things off, recognize whats important and whats not, and learn to talk.

Now about the Bully, simple....Bully's are a product of their own self consciousness. They feel ashamed, lacking in something, and need to make up for it. Every Bully needs to be put in their place, made to feel like a victim for once and identify their own insecurities to become a better person. Adults who simply overlook kids who Bully are doing their job, especially if you are a parent or in the field of Education.